The True Daisuke Motomiya
by A-Chan
Summary: The View of Life on Daisuke Motomiya. Have you expierienced true sorrow & pain? Has things been over crushing you? This is the story about Daisuke Motomiya, and his true self. I advise Dai-Chan flamers to read this. It might make you see a different view
1. Betrayal

**The True Motomiya Daisuke**

The rain seemed to hesitantly pour harder. My hands were in my short's pocket, with my head drooped down. It seemed like the world stopped with all the silence. I let out a heavy sigh. __

_ _

_My Kaa-San told me once that the angels in heaven cry when someone is in pain. I guess she is right. This rain is their tears for my sorrow. I guess._

_ _

I almost forgot why I was out here.My clothes were drenched, and my eyes dulled. Nothing seemed to be right anymore. Everything was pure pitch black, and I could only see myself. Splashes of droplets fall down to my cheek, letting my own droplets mix with theirs.I just stood there, facing forward to the sky, unmoving and with my eyes closed. Then I collapse on my knees as uncontrollable sobs lifted out. The rain just started to pour heavily as I stood there. I opened my eyes and looked at my right. It was the Tamachi Apartment Complex where Ken lives.

My heart started shattering once again._I bet Miyako's with him, snuggling warm under a blanket holding each other or making out. _Another sigh came out._I used to love Ken. I guess fate had to toy with me huh? I HATE IT!! My first three loves, taken away from me, and left me here like a lonely shadow that once looked over hell. _Then a flashback came back to me.

~::_Flashback_::~

The place was fiery and dark. Except for the figure that lay ahead of me. I saw that I was omitting a pure holy light as the figure was shielding itself. Then I realized where I was. I was in hell with the devil, or more likely Satan, sitting on his throne shielding himself. My wings were white, except for the tips, which were turquoise and gold. I charged toward him with incredible speed, and gutted him hard. I left him there to suffer, not die since this was another world.

A thought came to me. _Well, I guess my duty was served. I guess it isn't easy for being an angel. _It blanked out afterwards.

~::End::~

The rain's speed seemed to increase with more droplets falling. I walked away with my hands in my pockets. 

_ _

_Why does my life **have** to be cursed? First now I'm receiving these, visions no, maybe flashbacks. Now I'm a total freak. Hikari and Takeru are together. I got over my crush on Kari over a year ago, but my crush on Takeru still lasted after they were dating. Well, I always thought he was cute when he was mad. But now, it's useless. And Ken has Miyako already. I hate the way they make fun of me, insult me, tease me, and stab me in the back. They don't realize who I am. They practically don't even know me!! I bet my Kaa-San is calling them and they just stare at me as I walk by.With their eyes piercing through me, right to the core.I wonder if they even care. I've already slit my wrists twice, and my throat once. Except it was just partially. _

As I pass the park, I saw a couple under an umbrella talking. They were laughing and smiling, until I realized who they were. _Hikari and Takeru._ They turned their heads towards me with concern written all over their faces. Kari calls out while examining my face, "Daisuke!! Are you alright?" Both of them stand up and walk towards me. They both stop as the umbrella shelters me.

Takeru put his hand on my shoulder. 

"Daisuke."

"What," I snapped back coldly and monotonous.

"What bit your ass? Geez, are you ok? Your drenched to the bone and you look practically blue? What's the matter?"

I shoved his hand aside," What do **you** need to know?! It's none of your concern anyway!!"

I practically jumped back.

"Daisuke… Your one of my best friends, I **NEED **to know."

I nodded with the same monotonous voice," Well then, I'll give it to ya. Its…"

"Its…"

"Takeru to tell you the truth, its EVERYBODY!! Including **you**! Now leave me the hell alone!" I take off sprinting as Takeru and Hikari run after me.Hikari grabbed a hold of me and spat out gently, "What do you mean **everybody**? What did we do?"

I grunted slightly, "You don't think I can hear your comments and insults. And the jokes you tell behind my back. You think I'm some hyper egoistical, bull and hotheaded jerk. Well, I'm **NOT. **It's obviously true you don't know about who I am. You don't know the true me. You don't know how much courage it takes every single day just to wake up and explore it to realize I'm nobody. I'm just another plain lifeless soul in the middle of nowhere. Everything seems to detract from me every single damn day, making me the freak, the unwanted, the unwilling. SEE! You don't even understand me!! You might just think it's monophobia, but it's not!! You don't know **HOW **hard it is just for me to even walk out there!! Geez, for KAMI's sake you don't even **know** about me!! I **DO **have a better vocabulary TK, or should I say Takeru. I **DO** have a caring side!! For all you care, I **DO **have a compassionate soft side. I'm crumbling **BIT **by **BIT **just for telling this in your damn faces!!! For crying out loud, why should I even talk to both of you anyway?!" 

I took off looking at the expression on both of their faces as tears started splatter from my cheeks all to the ground. 

I heard a gasp from Kari breaking down while Takeru said with tears coming, "I never knew… And he remembered my name…" Kari was sobbing already. 

Before I left, I spat in TK's face with the anguish anger dancing in my eyes, "You **dunce**!!! I've **ALWAYS **known your name though I chose not too. Now that you know, why don't you let me rot in hell?!"

I heard Kari's last murmur, "Daisuke, I'm sorry… I never knew all this time. I **WAS **an idiot not realizing. Please forgive me…" By the time she was waiting for her response, I already shot off. 

After running a block or so, I tripped accidentally over a pebble and a bag of groceries toppled to the ground. I saw both Ken and Miyako trying to help me after picking up the bag. I slapped their arms away from me. I yelled in their face, "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" I dashed off again leaving them both puzzled and Miyako's response of, "Daisuke…"

While running, I had crossed another street. I heard a car coming my way, while the light turned red. I was in the middle of the road. As the screeching of brakes filled my ears, the impact left me in the pool of thick crimson black blood. I felt it coming out of my mouth and licked it. It felt sticky, thick, and really sweet. I don't know why, but it did. My vision blurred drastically till it was black as the person approached me. All I knew was the screeching of the other cars and I was completely wiped out.

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Hey!! I gave ya a cliffhanger!!! YES!!! I have been on writers block for six months!!! (Or more) Here's the results!! Please review, this is my first digimon fic, and yes, I **WAS** depressed while I wrote this and I still am. I discontinued my other stories, not because of the pressure; it just doesn't come out to me anymore.

I contribute this to anybody, with a mind that knows how to express. And in *MY* opinion would be dedicated to Hikari Takaishi. She's a very good writer, who someday would probably write a bestseller. So if you're reading it, ARIGATO!! ^_^ 

I remember a day I was crying a month ago. My depression grew from that day, until it goes like this. Now that I read sadder, dark, fics, I'll get on the verge of tears. I was on this one. I don't care if you flame or not, cuz I don't care. Flames are from most immature people. 

Well, thank you for reading the first part… The next will come soon. I really don't know how long this will go, but I'm going to make it the best I've ever had. Now go and review or insult which ever you like to do. 

*Bows*

Thank you. Oh and Digimon isn't mine!! I'm sorry if I offended any Takeru fans. I LIKE Takeru, he's number two on my list. This came out different than how it originally came in my head so, I hoped you like it… 

Well, **review!!**** **

~A-Chan Yuy~

_ _


	2. Friendship

This is part 2 of my fic… If you're wondering, what is with the weird flashback? Well, here is a little more insight on this… (Maybe) Well, read and review!! And Chibi-Kari, thanks for putting this under your faves!! I luv ya!!And Younge Qu, thanks for the comments!! Thank you all for the reviews!! 

The True Daisuke Motomiya 

Chapter II 

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# I woke up from the constant beep every other second. White filled my eyes as I saw Hikari holding my hand with rears in her eyes, with Takeru hugging her. Both of them had black u's under their eyes and Kari's seemed bloodshot.

I clutched at my side as a fire burned at my ribs. I moaned quivery. Kari shot her head up. 

"Are you alright Daisuke?"

Takeru pitched in, "Yeah."

My migraine was making my head burst. "Please be quiet, my head hurts."

They both nodded and smiled. I felt Hikari stroking my hair and kissed me on my forehead while giving my hand a last squeeze. She finally let go. 

"We're going to tell the others your awake. You've been out for a week and five days. We'll be back soon." They both exited the room.

My eyes drooped back in hazy sleepiness as slumber awaited me.

~: A halfhour later:~

I groaned to the sound of the doctor's voice. I squinted my eyes open. He was telling someone how I was doing. Tai stepped into the room. My throat seemed caught up and dry while thinking I'll sound like I'm dying. 

I croaked out,"Taichi..."

"Hey, take it easy bro. And how did you know my real name?"

"My throat seems caught up that's all," a cough interrupted me, "Kari told me about an argument you both had one day."

His mouth widened to an o, "Oh. That's why."

He ruffled my hair and said, "Well, see ya. Get well, k? I don't want ya to die on me, k?"

I chuckled uneasily, "Heh..."

Ken and Miyako stepped into the room after Taichi left. 

Ken started blurting out, "Y-you ok? I mean you could have died out there Daisuke! What were you thinking?!"

I knew he seemed out of character when he gets **emotionally** angry. He **is** one of my best friends. 

"Daijoubu ka Daisuke?"

"Daijoubu," I replied to Miya-Chan.

"How are you feeling?" prodding in on what happened earlier.

'Feeling fine Miyako. What do you think?" my voice was dripping with sarcasm. 

"I apologize, sorry M."

"That's okay," she said with a nod. 

Ken grinned with his eyes watering, "That's sugoi Daisuke. Hope you feel better."

"Thanks," letting out a heavy, sorrow filled sigh. 

They left the room silently. 

(Note: This has NO Yamashiro pairings or Taisuke. K?)

Yamato and Koushiro came in. 

"Hi..."

Koushiro sat down and started telling me something, "You wanna know something Daisuke? I was the same way." 

Matt interrupted, "You were?"

Kou-Kun nodded. "Hai. I also advise you to **_not _**take any depression pills **or** aspirin, k?"

Nodding, "Yeah."

Yamato started questioning me, "Let me see your wrists Dai."

I lifted both wrists for Yamato to see. He grasped lightly, examining both sides and gashes. 

"How many times?" he asked in a demeaning tone. 

I gulped hard, "Twice on both wrists."

Koushiro's eyes started to widen in fear.

Then my hospital gown slid down my right shoulder, showing the cut on my throat. 

Koushiro was about to scream but nothing came out of his mouth. He stood there gaping as Yamato let go of my wrists.

"Kuso Daisuke. What the hell?!"

He came towards me to examine the cut and traced it lightly with his index finger. His touch felt cold and solid. Then, he stopped. I heard the noise of the nurse saying, "Visiting hours are over!" 

They both retreated the room and said good-bye. I pulled my gown and fell back to sleep with a voice saying,

_You've been warned protector..._

_You've been warned..._

~Tsuzuku~ (to be cont.)__

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How was it? Good? Bad? This is still dedicated to the world! ^_^ Hope you enjoyed this part; cuz part three is going to be extreme!! (If you want to be the villain, review with your email addy, description, your age, fav. Character, and what you think about Davis/Daisuke.)

A more insight on Dai-Chan, and if your reading Dai-Chan bashers/haters, ARIGATO!! I hope you see what I'm heading towards!! (I **USED **to be a Dai hater. Now I'm not!! ^_^)

~A-Chan Yuy~


	3. Revelation

Ok, this is ANOTHER revision. The first copy I did deleted on me. Anyone ELSE want to be a Daisuke enemy, or the villain for this fic? This is only for Dai Haters/Bashers. I KNOW how much you want to torture him, so, the first 15 who review with their entry, or emails me first or has the best description gets to be our villain! (Well, it is going to be a villainous duo.) That does NOT include you Geneviéve. ^_^ Anyways, I got into a fight, and I had a glimpse of SOMETHING anime related before I ACCIDENTALLY hit the girl. (Reminds me of what Dai did.) Ok, I am ranting aren't I? Well, go onto the FICCIE peoples! ^_^ AAN- I'm going to put all chapter titles in Japanese. Unless I'm tired, then I would do something else. AEAN- all the definitions are going to be at the end of the chapter.

  


The True Daisuke Motomiya  


Chapter III - Omoigakenai nyusu 

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It was pitch black. All pitch black. Not even a breath stirred in a fifty-mile radius. I was standing there alone in the paleness of my own light. Echoes of voices and pure eeriness trailed down my spine in a slithery mist. 

  


A fair popped out from oblivion as it devilishly blew a kiss to me. It disintegrated into the background as the scenery changed. It was an abandoned beach with clear waters and pearl white sands.

  


Though wrapped in a serenading blanket, Hikari and Takeru were in a lock of love, filled with momentary passion and igniting existence, but it was considered as 'Making Out'. While putting my hand on T.K's shoulder to get his attention, my hand just went through.

  


Though I was not fazed by this, but it seemed to me as nonexistent. I felt more transparent than I ever had in my life. I knew this was a fantasy world, or better yet a parallel universe, but it didn't faze me much. Then, something snapped out of me.

  


_'If this is what one of the other universes are like, am I wanted? Am I needed? Am I just an excuse for a better living? Do even the others care? Do I even exist? Maybe this is where I rested and died and I'm stuck between worlds were nothing exists and were the unknown go. My younger sister used to have visions and telepathic conversations with people on the other side of Japan. She told me her best friend was there. She also told me there had been several timelines without me in them. I recalled that her friend has time traveled.' _

  


A glimpse flittered through my eyes in half a millisecond. It vanished soon as I caught it._ 'That was a vision. A pure vision. Am I a visionary? But that vision, it's so familiar yet, unknowing. Unwelcoming is the word. I feel transparent to the world around me except for the "group". I worshipped Tai for two reasons. 1) He had a better life. Some people even said he had a secret that he only shared with his friends and his sister. I know what it is now, that he's a digi-destined and all. But the most important thing is that he kept trying and he fit just perfect. 2) He's just someone. Someone to depend on, and to have a few conversations with. If I act like him, it keeps around my face like a mask. No one ever suspected until now.'_

  


I felt my whole body become transparent as my tears lavishly fell onto the ground without depth. I could just listen to the pitter-pattering of my tears. Those solemn tears of yesterday. I raised my had to the enlarged image as I was detracting away, drifting off somewhere. It was amazing how the imagery changed into a picture of Miyako and Ken. Ken was holding Miyako with a joyous smile. Miyako had a daring look on her face as though she was ready to pounce onto Ken. Both of them were aged a bit older. 

  


It changed again with a picture of a younger version of Jun holding a five-year-old. This child was frail, and had a darker burgundy hair color, plus it was naturally a tinge more violet. Jun carried it onto a cerulean float which only seemed to fit the young child. Jun, in knee-high waters, pushed the float till it soon rocked its way to the center of the sea, waving good-bye with an evil look. It gave a close-up on the child then disappeared from the horizon. I immediately collapsed onto my knees as the memory flooded through my conscious.

  


Tears took its toll as everything blurred around me, all the haunting images of **her** floating throughout my head. **Her.** She was the kid I was to raise as a sibling. The one who cared about everything and seemed even older than me. It even compares to Kari's tale of when she was the ninth digi-destined. My imoto-chan was 5 when she mysteriously disappeared and claimed dead. She talked as though she was thirteen, or fifteen. It was not fair. Life is just not fair.

  


I felt myself pull away from this place, this horrid place. It disappeared from my mind. I woke beside my tear soaked pillow. The moon seemed frightening whenever I look at it. It was casting a periwinkle hue as the shadows turned into ghoulish-demonic beings. _Well, it looked like it._ The moon was glistering on my limp figure as I magically restored.

  


I felt something unfolding and growing from the stretching tear coming from my back. I felt no liquid or anything solid. The pain seemed to unravel in to pain as I tightened my grip on my pillow. Suddenly, it halted in a stop. The relief of all that pain, it felt so good. But something added weight onto me. I lurched back to see something that I've never seen with my own eyes before. Something quite exquisite and amazingly astonishing. (scroll down.)

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Pure holy light wings were ignited into view. They gave off an alluring golden aura, as enticing mist surrounded the lighted areas. As if by instinct, they folded back and disappeared. The glittery, incensed smell disappeared too.

  


Tears suddenly sifted through the unwavering gates of hell. Something didn't feel right. Something didn't… A burst of light exploded in front of his face and images were floating throughout his soul. Someone or something was reaching down deep.

  


The images were of my life, and things I never knew existed. There was this one particular image that caught my eye. I was holding up some type of weapon, a spear, scepter, or a bow and arrow. I was defending this group of strong angels. Frightened angels. There was this huge, demonic, creature over powering them. Other images floated after, and I swear I saw my younger sister smiling and waving to me, my age. I blinked them away.

  


Hesitantly, I fell asleep and came into a dreamless-like setting. No stirring, nothing. The tiny pixie popped its head out of the darkness, and scurried along to find me. As it saw me, it stopped itself and was levitating above the ground holding a golden orb.

  


I gasped as I stared directly into their eyes. They were just like Kari's auburn ones. With an outburst, the pixie transformed into Kari. Slowly, it craned their head and blew on top of the orb as if it were blowing dust off an old album book. Rows of golden dust filled the air and piled up like cumulus clouds.

  


Kari, now, was no where in sight just like the first fairy. Now where it occupied its place was a fairy, who still looked like Kari. _Must have had evolved or something._ The landscape behind it was constantly changing, stopping every once and awhile. But this image that was there on the screen stopped moving completely as it drawn me inside it.

  


All of them were lying on the ground helpless or dead and I was the only one standing, excluding for Ken, Yamato, and Tai. Hastily, I dashed to Kari's side. I took one last glimpse at her and bent down. I knew I didn't make it in time. I took out two fingers for the pulse checking technique and pressed at the side of her neck.

  


_Thump. Thump._

  


It suddenly stopped moving and went flat. I knew it was too late. Takeru was the same, but before he left, he said to me, "It's up to you…" Miyako, was a relief to me. She still had a functioning pulse. But it was so faint I couldn't nearly feel it. So far, Tai, Ken, and Yamato were the only ones not on the ground helpless or unconscious.

  


I walked over to Iori/Cody and felt him. His heart rate was really good, but all I could tell is that he was in a coma. Mimi, I feel sorry for her, she was dead. She was a pretty nice person too. Sora was either unconscious or in a coma, I wasn't sure. Izzy, the other smart maniac, was dead too. He was a nice guy once you get to know him. Joe, poor Joe, was dead also. He was such a good person. He is too reliable sometimes.

  


Finally, one by one, they fell with unleashing blood going down their chests. Ken got a surprise attack, and got stabbed through his stomach with a long, katana blade. Ken's raging pulse urged to stay alive, and get moving. But, he couldn't stay long and he told me, "Take care of her…" and he fell limp in my arms while his skin was dramatically paling. A major cut resided on his left eye leaving a permanent scar, a huge slash at the throat, and a giant hole where he got stabbed at.

  


While on the other hand, Tai and Matt were still fighting hard and tried to keep on with their breaths and they gave in. They had nothing in them. Yamato died first. He had a dislocated jaw, and dried blood left a trail on his chin. He also lost both of his legs, (don't kill me!) and fractured his shoulder blades.

For Tai, if it weren't for the sparks of hope igniting in his voice, he seemed extremely weary. "Daisuke, go. Save yourself, your our only hope now…"

  


_'Hope? When since had** I **been hope?'_

  


His spinal cord finally snapped with a loud, sickening crack. Snap, crackle, pop. A gash on his chest was pumping out his last ounce of blood as it trailed down lower and lower… He also lost his left arm and had a huge scar where his right eye should've been. 

  


Startled with fear, I took my fist and pounded the earthy soil under me. It sifted and flew out from the bottom of my fist. Tears instantly flew as the thunder roared its repetitive cry as the rain poured as hard twelve days ago.

  


Inside, I felt a pull being twisted and replaced as the angels took more self-pity onto me as the rain poured harder and harsher onto the dirt and concrete mixture.

  


The vast amounts of blood have turned into puddles of pinkish rose while the bodies were rid of the sinister blood. Their bodies levitated higher towards the sky, exceeding my limits. I neither didn't have my D-3 or V-Mon/Veemon with me. I tried jumping the highest I could, three feet, but no use.

  


I screamed out my lungs, "NO!! NO!!" I crouched down wrapping my arms around my knees. Sobs were the only thing that filled the air for that moment. "Why, why?!"

  


I felt myself slip back into reality as I heard Takeru's voice saying, "Daisuke? Daisuke?" over and over. He was shaking me from my shoulders and I still carried on my scream from one of my dreams.

  


As my eyes snapped open, I stopped. His act halted also. He begun shooting off questions into my face with concern written all over, "Are you alright? What happened?" I started shaking my head violently as I never did want to recall the events that occurred earlier. I grabbed onto the sides of my pillow and buried my face into it. My cries and sobbed were mutely muffled, though it still seemed loud._ I've never been so vulnerable in my whole damn life. Here I am tearing my walls down just because of Take-Chan._

  


He started rubbing my back with his right hand in a comforting motion. Soon, whenever my heart beats, he would move his hand. We were in rhythm and synchronized. At first, I refused to let him touch me, but my defenses were also down. My will let him anyway.

  


He whispered lightly, and softly in my ear, "Just let it all out Daisuke. Just let it all out…" A few minutes afterwards I stopped crying, but I had a sniffling fit and started rocking myself. Then, Takeru finally stopped. His hand did not remove from my back, but rested there. 

  


I felt a prang of pain. The painful sensation of my wings growing out ached my back to the very core. I once I again turned around to see the extravagant marvel I always knew… Takeru on the other hand wasn't very comfortable. His eyes were widened with confusion , amusement, and fear and took a step behind me. They started folding back instinctively and disappeared once again.

  


As I passed out, an eerie voice in my head told me,

_"You wouldn't be so lucky next time protector… You won't because, omae o korosu…"_  
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Hi!! Ok, you're here for the cute villain annoucement right? Or do WANT to be one? Well, you have to have your name, description, a basic profile, your age, personality (character-wise), and how you view Davis/Dai-Chan. Just send them to me, at A-chan@talkcity.com, or attach it with your review. Most of the events happened here have already happened to me and are based on real life expirences such as the arm slapping in chapter 1 where Dai-Chan didn't want any help. It seems to me I remind myself of Dai-Chan and all except I'm smarter and don't have an ego inflation for my mask.

  
Daisuke: HEY!! Watch that!  
A-Chan: Yeah, yeah, whatever. ^_^ Oh and REVIEW!! ^_^ 


	4. Evanglical Presents

Ok, so I DIDN'T tell what the titles were… Sowwy. The Chap. 3's title meant Revelation… And Omae o Korosu, if you've seen or heard about Gundam Wing, is Heero Yuy's infamous quote to Relena, "I Will Kill you." 

I was REALLY sleepy, and groggy so… Anyways, I've got a poem to post soon, and it's called Life. It's a BIT of a teaser, you'll just see. ^_^ 

Well, I hope you like this chap.! Thanks for being there, POBW/Phoenix of Blood Wars. And Chibi-Kari. In EVERY review I've got for this fic, you've both were in all of them. And it makes me cry!! *sniff* 

PLEASE don't kill me when Taichi-Kun and Yama-Chan died really freaky. I really was in a sadistic mood and such. Such self-pity, in a million years. Well, here you go!

The True Daisuke Motomiya

Chapter IV-Evangelical Presents 

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The blinding lights of the room were driving me nuts! A while ago, I just thought I heard I was going to be dispatched from this hideous place. I tried to smile, but the attempt failed with a tear.

Footsteps of heavy pounding were coming near my room. I turned to my right, and saw the world in its state. The window view was spectacular, and it overviewed all of Odaiba. The corners of my lips twitched up. Then, a light tap came onto my shoulder. I turned around alarmed.

"Hello otōto."

Her voice was nonchalant as always. Since when she found out that Yamato rejected her, even after showing him her true side, she fell into this shell of hatred, evil, envy, and so much more. She stopped being materialistic and superficial. Just like the day after she took my sister away. She stopped functioning all together practically. It was just a sad world.

Tears were spilling out of her eyes as they glistened brightly in the light. She had a look of depression, and anger mixed in her pools. Suddenly, she took a deep breath, then she gave me a gigantic squeeze. Her sobs racked the room, as the silence around us seemed to wrap a layer embracing the sibling moment. 

Her droplets were soaking my gown, and occasionally trailing down my smooth chest. Her grip cold and icy as her eyes were. They showed no purity whatsoever. She let go of me, and kissed me on the forehead. She ruffled my hair soon after. 

She whispered to me, with a caring voice I once knew, "Get well my darling otōto… I'll be waiting." 

Then she left her place, with the purest aura I've ever felt around her. Two tears slipped my eyes as she left the room, and it felt empty without her presence. I placed my hand over my mouth, as though I was going cry again. I was gripping the sides of the bed railing, and my knuckles turned white. Pure, porcelain white. 

Izzy and Takeru stepped inside the room, cluttered up in piles of presents. Then something snapped in my head. _'My Birthday. The day I should never of existed. But what's with ALL these presents? Are these also my get well presents?'_

Koushiro's response broke my reverie. 

"Hey, Happy b-day Davis… You know, you're lucky to have this much presents! Guess cuz of the… oh, never mind." 

"What is it Koushiro? Is there something your hiding?" sensing a tone of… something. Something suspicious. 

He flushed red all over his face. 

"Uh…um…eh?"

"Really, Koushiro?"

"Uh, I don't think Daisuke would want anybody else to here it."

I raised an eyebrow. "Nani?"

"See," Takeru pointed out," Even **he **doesn't know what you're talking about!"

"Eh heh… You wanna know something?"

"What Koushi?"

"Urk. But really, it has to do with Daisuke. And he has…"

"Has WHAT?" I was totally shocked.

"He's tried to commit suicide three times fatal. And the bad part is…" his eyes deepening into solemness. 

"What?!"

"I think he might be internally dying…" as his throat croaked a bit.

"NANI?! ARE YOU NUTS?! WHAT ARE YOU?! A PSYCHIATRIST?!" I jumped at Takeru's outburst.

"Yes I am Takeru. Gomen Nasai. I don't know what to do. Medication won't work. He'll overdose it eventually, sedatives and needles are the same. Putting him in the mental hospital won't be good, and it'll just hasten the process."

I gulped in fear, and blinked back the tears. I saw again the familiar imagery, as it retold my life once again. Fear. Fear is what was holding me on. Fear. Fear for living the life I've could of made better, knowing the mistakes I've had, I could of changed them. But now, the last shard of hope shattered in my heart leaving me with a thread of fate. Golden or not, I hope it won't snip.

I my stomach churned slight as the presents meant nothing. I just don't know how much longer to live… How much long to survive…and to hold on.

Takeru came practically running to my side, and held me as I cried. Sorrow filled the air, his warmth gave me some light, and possibly, hope. 

But, _why_? _Why was he doing this? Is he? Or is he just comforting me because I'm his friend?_ _I just don't know anymore._

I collapsed onto the bed, gripping harder on the pillow ahead of me. I fell into a deep sleep. 

It was the same place. Like last time. But, the weird thing was, I was raising my hand out, and some figure was outlined in the shadows and disappeared. It was blank.

I felt everything around me. I felt nonexistent. The memories were blank. All blank. _Am I dying? _It was blank. But then raising a hand to the holy light, someone invisible, embraced me. They pressed a hand on top of my head and returned my memories. 

They whispered into my ear, "Daisuke, aishiteru. I will always love you no matter where you are, what dimension your in, or a different lifetime. Fate never seems to let me hold you. I guess they let me.Never forget me my sweet Daisuke, because I'm always at your side. Dai suki. Ja for now sasai."

They flew away into the light, and I felt withdrawn from this fantasy world. The fourth dimension. I smiled to myself when I heard their last murmur, "Happy Birthday Sweet One."

I woke up just to look at Takeru's and Koushiro's eyes. They had looks on their faces that literally say, "ARE YOU OK? I'M AN IDIOT. I NEED TO KNOW." I just smiled at them, and shut my eyes. __

_ _

_Life is going to be ok. I know I'm a building block of life. I've destroyed one part of it. The other half is safe. Plus, I know someone loves me, whoever they are. I love you too._

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Hello. Otōto means younger brother, aishiteru means I love you, Dai suki is a phrase that means I like you, Ja means something like see you later, sasai means beloved, nani means what, gomen nasai means I'm very sorry. Ok, if you were people who didn't know much Japanese, here's the glossary. 

So, I guess that's it. I'm also writing a Takeru fic related to this. Once I get it posted you should read it. It has a hidden teaser or something that's related to this. Well, since this was rushed, I tried my best cuz I'm so eager to post! 

Well, review please!

~A-Chan Yuy~

_ _


	5. Death

Part five of my series. ^_^ This is for Lilac's Be nice to Daisuke Contest, and well, here you go!! She reviewed this and I THANK you for loving it. Just getting inspiration because of that post, and that I'm worthless. Depressed mildly, dedication to Lilac and Sliver, here I present, from Yuy Productions Co. is…. (oh and Lilac, your name's in here!! ^_^)

The True Daisuke Motomiya

Chapter V- Death 

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The memories played over and over. The tenderness of the blade as blood glimmered upon the paleness of my skin. The pain, the appalling pain heightened to its maximum, as it glittered its brilliance around me. Cerise blood trails down my chest as my breath became harsher and caught with twanging agony as my cries echoed softly in its minute abode.The metal touch shrouded shivers throughout my spine as it traced near my heart. My insolate heart. I was useless. I'm unworthy, I am nothing. 

I am no one.

I am…

Nobody.

Another memory collides with a euphonious tone. I recall singing that day. It was all so clear to me. She toyed with me. She hated me. She despised me with disgust, anguish intertwining with her voice. I recall her calling me filth, and impudent fool with nothing. No hopes, future, nothing. She thought of me as Satan's Offspring. She forgave me later that day though. As I remember, she told me these exact words, "You are yourself, and I am myself. But you are a being and I'm sorry. I needed an outlet. I needed someone to use to release anger. I'm dearly sorry…" But I ran off. Tears had stung my eyes that day, and nothing became true. Hopes were vanished, and my soul lost. I was thus only a shell. A cast. I was just a doll. A being without a conscious. 

I was nothing. 

Tears spilled my worn cheeks, as the pastiness of my skin began to feel archaic as though time had passed. Then I drew into a slumber of everlasting death. I slept with nothing, nothing but a true sign that I was…

Gone.

Forever lost in the depths of the universe.

No hope, love, light. Courage never kept me going. I was never a friend. I was nothing. I am nothing. I am forever the outcast of the universe.

I am Daisuke Motomiya, 

The light of the darkness,

The doll of existence.

The everlasting hope of death.

I am…

The death of life,

The rebirth of hope,

And the light of hell.

I was thus the once known protector of Heaven, but now, I am nobody.

I am nothing but the true Daisuke Motomiya, the server of nothingness.

I woke up again with the grogginess of the world fading around me. The haze of death felt closer than ever and I felt something watching. Something. The moonlight, once again, it's lucid rays, blazed around me as pure majestic wings grew. Tears stained my once defiant face, now worn with the façade drawn in it. My wings folded back as I felt someone gripping my hand.

It was him. 

I did not know how, but somehow, my light drew closer as tender lips pressed upon mine. But I felt it let go as the darkness diminished away into the darkness. The lingering feel, the touch, the holiness of it, made me weaken, as tears plummeted down away in waterfalls of endless distress clutching the pillow once again. The weariness of my heart held its defenses weak as the world began to lighten its rays and I drew into a slumber. 

Saturday, February 14. The day I got dispatched. My birthday had seemed like eternity as this occasion drew. I woke up with the defiance of the world around me smiling, and the rain still pouring. The angels are still mourning me. It's no wonder. A nurse came by and helped me out of the bed, and gave me a stack of newly folded clothes. 

I stared at the design. The shirt was still… No, it wasn't the same. There was a symbol of Courage embroidered on it with a dark blue background with flames like the one I wear when I'm in the Digital World. I slipped the hospital gown down, placing it on the bed. I unzipped the khaki pants and put my legs through, leisurely taking my time carefully. Slipping the shirt, I inhaled the fresh scent of Lilacs* and violets, as I stepped through the door and onto the lobby.

After registering out with the displacement forms, I jotted down my signature and handed the clipboard back to the secretary. She smiled at me, "Have a good day sir." I knew it was just to reassure me, with the fakeness in her voice. Jun took out her hand and I placed mine in hers. She let go as soon as the automatic doors opened, and put her left arm around my shoulders. 

It took awhile before we went to car. Once we did, I sat in the passenger's seat. Buckling my seatbelt, I saw something flicker as I searched through the front pocket of the car. The thoughts of regret and hatred that filled through from my dreams locked into my conscious' thoughts as I pulled the pocket knife, tracing the edge of the blade with my finger. Sticky, scarlet, sweet blood oozed from my fingers enticing me with its tangy juices. I rose it high, and slowly, it impacted my heart a great thump, and it sunk deeper piercing through my skin, onto my heart. It stopped with a continuous beat as the car stopped with a halt. I eyes rolled back with my head tilting to the side, and my vision drew blurry then blank. All I knew was, I was enveloped with nothingness…

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Part six/ending is coming soon!! I've already gotten it jotted down ready to be typed!! Well, I hope you enjoy this because the last part is going to make your head spin, (not really) and make you wish this was never the end!! The twist that you wish for more.Wondering who the guy was? Well, I'm going to write chapter two of my OTHER digimon fic, and your going to have to search for it in my profile!! Then you'll see what yaoi pairing that is!! It's __________ in disguise!! ^_^

Oh and the * was where Lilac's name was. No,I'm NOT trying to bribe you. I'm just making this seem more interesting…

~A-Chan Yuy~


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